CAN I CALL THIS THE RAMBLINGS OF A MAN TORN BETWEEN HAPPY AN PATIENT?

WITH A SLIGHT TWIST... HAVEN'T KNOWN YOU AS LONG...
AND AS I FILL UP MY LATE NIGHTS WITH
HUG ATTACKS
AND IDLE
YET MOST TIMES STIMULATING CONVERSATIONS
I FIND MYSELF PERUSING WHO YOU TALK TO
NOT INTERESTED IN BARRING YOUR LIGHT FROM OTHERS
YET
INSANELY JEALOUS.
A CHANCE I'M FULLY PREPARED TO EARN IS ALL I'M ASKING.
AS YOU SIT IN THE OTHER SIDE OF MY IM WINDOW,
I GLANCE AT YOUR PAGE,
THE INSPIRATION TO BE FRIENDLY HEARTED
WRITTEN ACROSS YOUR FACE AS DEEPLY SCRIBED
AS THE POEMS I CRAFT IN EXPLANATION OF MY FEELINGS ON MY
CHOICE TO REMAIN SINGLE.
HOLDING ON,
THE PARANOIA,
TELLING ME I'M NOT THERE.
FEAR TELLING ME,
I JUST WANNA STOP LOOKING,
AND I'M SUBCONSCIOUSLY
PUSHING TOWARD A PREMATURE END OF MY SEARCH.
YET
WHEN PONDERING CORROBORATING EVIDENCE OF YOU NOT BEING AS I VIEW YOU,
I COME UP EMPTY,
AS EMPTY AS MY HEART IS FULL.
FULL OF FUNNY LIL STORIES AND ROOM.
ROOM FOR YOU TO RESIDE RENT FREE,
WITH NO WORRY OR CONCERN.
NOT EVEN ASKING THAT YOU TAKE UR SHOES OFF,
AS YOU GET COMFORTABLE I ENVISION A FEW POKES IN THE AORTA,
LOOKING FORWARD TO THEM,
AND ALL THE MEMORIES I PRAY,
OPEN HEARTED,
THAT I'M BLESSED/ALLOWED
TO BE A PART OF
AND CREATE.
QUITE THE STATEMENT,
YET THE TRUTH IN IT
SCREAMS ACCEPT US FROM THE STREET AS MY HEART STANDS ON THE ROOF LOSING IT'S FOOTING.
SAFETY SOUGHT.
SEEKING
THINKING
DEBATING THE DRINKING
AND SMOKING
JOKING
YET WITH ALL THE SERIOUSNESS AND TRUTH
SOMETIMES ATTRIBUTED WITH JEST.
I WANNA BE...